Are you behind, delinquent, approaching foreclosure, filing for bankruptcy, just overwhelmed and exhausted?
Just breathe. That is right. Give yourself permission, right now, while you are reading. Stop, stretch, take a few deep breaths, think of mountains, oceans, children, flowers, golf or whatever you remember makes you happy!
This is really important. No fooling around here. You have got to relax. For a whole lot of reasons, you need to let go a little bit. Did you know that our national suicide rate is climbing? The suicide rate in our military is spiraling out of control. The pressures we face today are pushing many of us past our ability to cope.
Or at least we think so. It has been with much sadness that I read about the suicides and murder/suicides taking place recently. Recent studies show a correlation between economic and occupational stress and the suicide and murder/suicide rates. Intuitively we already know that- don't we? And we have the ability to control our reactions to all of these pressures. It takes a big "step out of our own way" as personal coach extraordinaire, David Martin is fond of saying.
The point however, is that only you can give "you" permission to let go. The bills are behind? OK - they are behind. Collectors are calling - relax, let the phone roll or answer cheerfully and say "sorry - can't do it" If collectors are abusive report them , but try to let it roll off of your back. They are just human beings hired to do a job, as unsavory a job as it may be.
For more information on I found a great site to help you with abusive collectors see http://www.squidoo.com/collection-agency-harassment
You are not alone, according to a recent study for Online Resources Corporation dated April 2008, 43 percent of households were having a harder time meeting their financial obligations than 12 months earlier. In addition, the study found that consumers are putting their credit card bills at the very bottom of the stack of the regular bills they are paying. You can download this study for yourself if you like by going to the link below and checking the box labeled: Payment Delinquencies Spread Across Billing Industries & Household Demographics (May. '08)
http://www.orcc.com/products/ebanking/whitepapers.asp
Given that this study was done in April 2008 and that the current unemployment numbers are at a 26 year high, it is most likely that even more households today are having to make very hard choices between eating and paying off debt. So the fact is - if you are struggling financially, you really are not alone.
This does not take away from those who are employed and able to stay on top of everything. Good. We want more and more people to get into this position. But if you are struggling, take a moment to recognize that you are living through a tsunami of financial chaos. Try to let go of peer pressure, shame, guilt and other anxiety drivers.
Ultimately, none of us need all of the "stuff" we have collected during the roaring 1990's and early 2000's. If you are stressed out and need relief, pack a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and go sit in a park for a little while. Once you start giving yourself permission to relax a little, you may even realize that you don't want to have to carry $2500.00/month mortgage payments, car payments, credit card debt and buying all of the stuff the "Jone's" seem to be accumulating. There is another way. Rent. Check a book out at the library rather than contribute to Amazon's bottom line. Pack your lunch. Invite a neighbor over for coffee rather than meeting at the local $4.00 a cup coffee house. And, this new way is really a lot more fun and far less stressful.
Most of all, don't let your financial problems control your life. If you know someone who is having a little trouble, reach out to them gently and invite them to do something free-they will be able to respond without guilt. If you look and listen, you will find others around you in similar trouble trying to hide their own difficulties and the resultant guilt and shame.
OK-Just Breathe!
Cheerfully Back to Basics,
Leslie
